Never tried before, but this time around, we sure we got lucky with mind psychology. Well not too much, but with Home Delivery we got lucky with reading the director’s mind. So what exactly was he thinking? Well, he sure thought that throwing in a liberal dose of the southern siren Miss Maya’s (Mahima-what-was-I-thinking- Choudhary’s) Mallika-go-run-I’m going-to–give-you-a-run-for-your-money cleavage, the good old Boman Irani and his Santa beard and beer belly, Ayesha Takia’s tresses, adorable children singing in a choir, a serial killer, a spoof on industry veterans like Mithun Chakraborty and Hema Malini, God and his ‘signs’ and Vivek Oberoi with his ‘aint-I-just-so-cool’ attitude, oh! And a little bit of tears, love and indecision: and you have almost every plot/element/genre of Hindi movies covered. So obviously Sujoy thought that with Home Delivery there is something for everyone. So don’t like Mahima? Look at Ayesha. Don’t Like Ayesha look at Vivek Oberoi, not even him? How about a song on how pizza’s are made?! Oh! Not that too? Well, let me ask if Suniel Shetty and Karan Johar are free for one second each, at least your interest might flash through for that moment. But one fatal question the director forgot to ask himself, and his cast forgot to ask themselves and each other, was that what if the idea ‘still’ did not appeal? Aaah…there is where the downfall of the movie actually began. ‘What if’? The vital question of them all.
So what exactly is the movie about? We still haven’t figured out that, but we’ll tell you what we ‘thought’ the director was trying to say. Vivek Oberoi is Agony Aunt’s answer to the Times of Hindustan where he plays “Gyaan Guru” who as the term suggests has all the gyaan in the world, and he preaches off on issues ranging from love to zits to his readers, and has a live-in relationship with his ‘nani’! No, don’t jump out of you chair, the director has not lost it all together, here nani is ahem, Ayesha Takia, whom Vivek calls nani because of a little-improbable-explanation that is their names which are Jenny and Sunny, did you notice the common ‘nny’ in the end to each of their names? Well don’t roll your eyes to what we are saying, that is the explanation the director gave us! So yeah, for some reason like that, Nani is very much in love with Vivek and Vivek, well, sure he too loves her back, but maybe a little less (or so he thinks) He is a fella suffering from Freudian problems with his father, but Ayesha plays the resurrection link between the two. They stay on a floor where lives Mr. Sharma, an over hyper celibate man, a nuisance of a neighbour and below them lives an even bigger nuisance, who loves to dust his neck in thick layers of talc, and then croons away on his harmonium, with the intensity of shattering glasses every other night!
Amidst all this, Vivek is juggling his job (which he never goes for), writing a script for Karan Johar (who will for the rest of his life wonder what made him agree to his cameo performance) and a latest attraction that he finds when his path crosses Miss Maya’s (Mahima Choudhary) a southern star, who had been his fantasy ever since he can remember. Throw in a pizza delivery guy (Boman Irani) who ends up cooking gajar ka halwa when he comes in with his order, to confused sub plots, a serial killer with a-so-apparent-its-an-artificial nose stuck, (thankfully on his nose itself), and Diwali and children and lessons and realizations and don’t-ask-us-what-more and you have what they call Home Delivery. Sujoy Ghosh, if you were in a profession other than the movies, we suggest, you go back to it, Mahima, its time for an early retirement now and Vivek, what should we say? Home Delivery is one order, we suggest, don’t place. Its not even worth the ‘money-back-guarantee’ folks.
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